this face

it melts my heart.

I love .. super love .. this stage of Rivers life. Even with its random unexplainable tantrums included. He cracks us up and he knows it.

He gives Wylder kisses daily. But its always because we have asked if he wants to.

But last night he gave Wylder his first kiss without us asking him to. Just walked up and laid a big fat one on him. It was PRECIOUS. We asked him to do it again after and got a video of it. (click here to see it because you will just fall in love with River more. I promise)

I think he is growing into this big brother role perfectly.

why isnt there a mechanic in our family?

I think every family needs a lawyer, doctor, contractor, and a car mechanic.  dont you agree?

Anyway, back in July Freeland wrecked his truck. It wasnt his fault. It was the rains fault. (which made me beyond grateful that somehow we managed all these winters without any wrecks in the snow when he was driving far for rotations.)


one side of the bumper.

So the last month we have been with just 1 car. Which is fine because in case you dont know, Im a homebody and wasnt planning on leaving the house with 2 kids anyway. Also, Freeland was on a rotation with great hours where he was home early everyday so it wasnt a big deal to wait for him to get home.

Anyway, the day before we were supposed to go pick up the truck we got a phone call letting us know that someone had broke into it and stole the "system" that was in it. They pretty much tore apart the entire dashboard too. (quick back story: we bought the truck used from our vet in Waco and he had a tv, dvd player, gps, and pretty much the works installed in the truck so thats what these hood-rats {doing hood-rat things with their friends} stole) We never really used any of it so it wasnt a big deal. And the dummies who stole it seriously just took the face of it and not "the brains" so they will never be able to use what they took. Hilarious!

Saturday we finally got the truck back. Its just like new. Except with 2 kids + car seats awkwardly squished in the back now.

on another note, this is Rivers face when he sees Freeland get home from work:

 

pure joy! 

1 month of pure wonderful craziness

the little munchkin is officially 1 month & 5 days today.

And shockingly he is actually doing other things besides just the reflux/colic stuff!



like he eats, sleeps, and poops.... and that about sums up the life of a 1 month old.

just kidding. but he is growing and already feels way too big to me. some of these pictures are older and he looks so much bigger already.



Wylder in his first month has pretty much been living up to his name! (woooops! we pretty much set ourselves up for that one!) He started out his first day of life in the NICU. Then his first 2 weeks home were filled with doctor visits and lots of blood work to get his jaundice down and weight up. And pretty much the day that was all done his reflux kicked in. But at least he isnt boring, right? And he is teaching us A TON!



He officially weighs 9lbs 5 oz. If he stays at this pace he will definitely be able to stand up to his big brother one day! (not that he is big but he's just bigger than River was) And he has little rolls on his legs. (key word - little!) but there are rolls and thats more than River ever had too. I love them.


his first bath .. obviously he has no idea how awesome this could be just yet.

He's starting to loose his hair and look like a little bald man. It was dark brown from the day he was born but I really think its becoming more and more auburn. (ie: it looks exactly like Freelands beard!) it is getting lighter though so who knows what it will turn out like.

His eyes were dark blue just like Rivers when he was born and they are starting to get lighter & lighter too.


bald baby... which also looks SO much like my dad & my brother as a baby to me! Seriously, its creepy!

As far as a schedule or routine he is on .. umm there isnt one. I mean seriously, not that any one month old is on a "schedule" but I at least knew or could guess what River would probably do or how long he'd be awake for or when he would want to eat .. etc. Wylder, not so much! I know its because of his tummy issues. He has a hard time staying asleep because it hurts or he gags so it makes him restless and sleep is harder and then everything is thrown off. Thankfully, this aint my first rodeo so Im not the least bit stressed about his lack of sleeping or lack of schedule. (not that Im an expert with just 2 kids .. but with River I was SUPER focused on him learning to sleep from the beginning! and it stressed me out. Not so much this time)



We have him sleeping in his crib at night. Well, at least the times he will sleep in his crib - he is in there. Its the one thing that I actually try to keep consistent for him. I spend a lot of time patting his little back or putting the pacifier in his mouth helping him fall asleep. Hopefully it will all pay off and he is learning to sooth himself since we try not to always pick him up. Who knows. During the day its totally different since I cant always spend the time helping him sleep with River running around. But it works.



Life has been fun to say the least as a family of four so far. I feel like no matter what it would have been crazy but with all thats gone on its been especially crazy & has forced us to rely so much more on the Lord than ourselves. Because when you are running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep from the night you pretty much have nothing left to give to 2 kids and have to let the Lord take over. I havent handled it perfectly and have had my moments but in the end Im thankful for all the Lord will be able to teach us and how we will grow and one day look back at this and laugh.

update to my update

First of all .. it was my 10 year high school reunion this last weekend. ca-razy. Obviously, I wasnt there since we live so far away & have our hands currently full. But that makes me feel super old.

Second, Freeland fixed our computer so I was finally able to get the pictures off my camera.

And this is seriously the most handsome baby Ive ever seen. Here he is passed out on my lap 2 weeks ago:



Third, here is an update to my last update. Im sorry if you are tired of reading about sleeping, reflux, etc. etc. but its our world right now. And hopefully I can post about something else next because honestly, Im even tired of talking about it!

But thank you for all of your advice and sharing your experiences. If you didnt see my response in the comments .. it definitely helped affirm and encourage us that we werent crazy. We hit a peak last Wednesday and the little guy pretty much screamed all evening and all night. It was a growing moment for us to say the least.

We called our doctor to let her know the medicine we were trying clearly wasnt working. So she recommended we go to a GI specialist in Pittsburgh (there isnt one in Erie) Thankfully we were able to bump our appointment up two weeks and went down yesterday. The doctor was wonderful and such an answer to prayers. She affirmed that Wylder has bad reflux and is "super sensitive" to pretty much life! She spent so much time with us giving us all the information she could and reassuring us.

She also explained how he has a protein sensitivity to dairy (I probably said that wrong but oh well) basically he's allergic to dairy & soy. And even in my attempt to take it all out of my diet for the last month so I could breast feed him it didnt help (because its almost impossible to get soy out of your diet unless I just ate celery for the next year basically) So we've switched to formula. Im apparently in denial about it because Im still pumping. Even though I love giving him bottles and Im all for formula .. its a little hard to give up the idea of feeding him myself. But the formula is seriously helping so much. Its amazing.

He is still fussy & we have to work to calm him down. And screams on his back. And spits up. And all that goes with Reflux. But it isnt nearly as bad as it was. There are moments he is content. And we just started the new medicine today so hopefully it will help even more. There are moments it seems its helping and others where it seems like nothing is working.

We also ordered a nap nanny. We'll see how it works. Right now the only way he is happy is on his tummy. He wont sleep in the swing or car seat (even the doctor said to try that!) so Im not sure the nap nanny will work.. but its worth a shot!

I'll keep you updated. But seriously, its getting better. And its crazy what I consider "better" these days!

and Im done talking about reflux. I promise!

update and learning all about reflux

FIRST OF ALL - LOOOVED reading all of your expertise and experiences with your babes and them sleeping!!! Thank you so much for sharing. Seriously. Its always so interesting to hear how we all do it differently. And its nice to get ideas from people who have done it before and/or also know Im not the only one doing certain things!  Hopefully it helped some of you too!  Im finding with our second little one Im doing things 100% differently than I did with River!


Second, Wylder has Reflux.

Can I get a what? what?

not.

Thankfully he isnt spitting up all his food. Honestly, he spits up but nothing that seemed abnormal to me.. Which is why I didnt think he had reflux. But upon taking him to the doctor last Thursday (after calling and begging to come in because I swore something was wrong) we discovered the poor little guy has reflux.



"whaaaaaat?"

my thoughts exactly little man.

It explains why my awesome happy little baby who slept like a champ was all the sudden waking up at night more often crying out in pain. And why he all the sudden hates being put on his back.. or really hates any position that isnt sitting straight up. And why if we dont burp him for (what seems like) an hour he spits up. And why he is fussy all the time. And why Im tired. And why my arms are getting a work out from holding him and soothing him. And why I thought I was going crazy! (not really but I had my moments)

On a side note, Im pretty sure one of the most common things we heard when I was pregnant was:

"good luck, the first ones always easy and the second one is always hard"

I actually dont think thats true in every case. (and I actually dont think its the most encouraging thing you could say to someone who is going to have 2 kids under 2 but whatevs.)

But in ours case.. their theory is proving to be true. (so pat yourself on the back all you peeps who warned us ;)

Anyway, I really knew nothing about this so called "reflux" until pretty much last Wednesday when I called the doctor out of desperation & started googling everything. From what I can tell it seems there is a wide range of how it presents itself for each baby. Some are worse than others.

Wylder seems to just mostly be in constant pain & only relieved of the pain when he is sitting up right. I mean, straight up.. not in his car seat or swing.. literally with his back straight and up. And its the worst if he is laying on his back. (which makes setting him down or sleeping awesome. not) I want to say he is colicky but I wont. I realize he is able to be consoled/comforted most the time when he is crying. So even though Im working to comfort him ALL day.. he can be comforted and I am very thankful for that. He is also able to keep his food down, he's healthy, he's growing, and he has some moments where it seems like he isnt in pain so I really am thankful. (I need to remind myself of these things at 3:00 in the morning when my attitude is ummm not very thankful!) We're trying out a few things the doctor and other peeps have recommended. And hopefully its all short lived and he grows out of it.

Mostly, its just heart breaking hearing him cry out in pain & knowing I cant really help him.

So I apologize for the lack of post & pictures & updates. (not that anyone has been knocking at my door demanding updates!) My hands are just a lil' full all day either taking care of River or bouncing this little guy until he gets comfy. And in the rare moments he's able to sleep through it all I think its important that I do things like brush my teeth, change out of my pajamas, think about showering, and especially play with River.


love it when babies smile in their sleep!

But I really hope to post more updates soon! I also hope to finally get all the pictures off my camera one day!

In 5 days this little guy is going to be 1 MONTH OLD! Can you believe it?? I definitely cant. Even though its crazy its still going by too fast!

swaddling

River randomly sharing his car with Wylder.

Quick question. Do you swaddle your kiddos when they sleep? 


If so .. or if not .. Id love to hear all about it  and all about how they slept as newborns.

(and again, I apologize if this is the most boring post for some of you who probably dont even care to know what a swaddle is!) 

We swaddled River. He loved it. And at times I swear its why he was such a good sleeper. He was in a swaddle forever. Like seriously until he was pretty much 10 months old.  I was fine with that. We had him in one where he could roll over and back just fine.The transition to break him out of the swaddle was easy once he was ready. But all the times we tried when he wasnt ready were HORRIBLE.

And my theory has now become - the less we have to "transition out of" with any of our kids .. the better.

At first Wylder seemed to actually hate being swaddled. (And I was secretly so excited) I knew I could keep swaddling him and eventually he would like it because thats what the books say is comforting to them and to do. But if he could learn to sleep without it & still sleep well then I would pretty much be the happiest mom in the world.  I have plenty of friends who never swaddled their kids .. and actually didnt even know what it was .. so I figured thats what I would try with Wylder.

But it seems like the swaddle might actually end up helping him sleep so I may be resorting back to it after all. At first he slept like a champ but now he is starting to wake up more often during the night and having a harder time staying asleep & being comfortable. I know this is also normal for newborns. (to have good nights & bad nights) but my gut feeling is that we will end up using the swaddle after all. (I tend to just give in during the middle of the night when Im half asleep and ready to go back to bed!)

Anyway, I was just curious to know what all of you (the pros) did with your kids and how you had them sleeping when they were newborns. Did you use a sleep positioner? Did they put themselves to sleep or did you rock them to sleep? Did they prefer sleeping on their tummy or with you? Did they sleep 8 hours in a row from the night you brought them home from the hospital? (okay seriously, dont tell me that if that was your experience! Id rather not know!)

But really it would be interesting to hear what everyone does differently if you're up to sharing!

a few more pictures

(or a lot more pictures)

We were at the hospital for 4 days. And it was still too short if you ask me. Id happily stay longer. I very much love being at the hospital after having a baby. I feel like in some ways the C-Section was harder the second time around & in other ways it was much easier. That makes perfect sense right? Once my medicine (finally) kicked in.. recovery was a breeze! It just took longer to kick in this time & I felt more contractions afterwards than I did last time. But Ive been able to do plenty at home and it hasnt been too bad.
 
The other day it occurred to me there is a chance that we wont deliver another baby here in Erie. Which makes me sad. I love my doctor here and I love the hospitals here. But who knows?!

Here are some pictures from our last day at the hospital.

Brothers:


big bro + lil bro (I ordered the shirts from Etsy for those curious)




for a second he wasnt sure



then he was happy:




family of four about to leave the hospital:








freeland took this picture and Im very thankful for it





going home:








two car seats!


finally home

Things are going well so far though. We finally got Wylder back up to his birth weight and feeding is starting to get better. (both kiddos had trouble gaining weight at first so thankfully this wasnt anything new to me!) The kid just wants to sleep through every single feeding. We literally had to put a cold wet cloth on him to keep him awake to eat. And I was having to wake him up at night every 2 hours to feed him but thankfully the doctor gave me the go ahead to let him sleep at night as long as he will without waking him up anymore. (of course now he wakes up more often than when I was waking him up!)  And he is starting to be awake more often during the day. I think he may have some tummy issues because he has moments where he seems pretty uncomfortable or restless. But for the most part he is a happy little baby. (so far at least!)

My mom leaves tomorrow. Then Freelands mom gets here on Sunday and is here until Wednesday morning. Im trying to mentally prepare myself for what its going to look like once we dont have visitors or help. And Im not sure Im prepared at all or want to even think about it! Thankfully the Lord is faithful and he'll provide the energy, patience, and grace we need!

Hopefully I can share more pictures of us actually at home & what life looks like now soon!

Brothers

River is starting to warm up to Wylder. For the most part he doesnt pay attention to him. Other times he just walks by and points and says "baby". On a rare occasion he shows him a toy or really stops to watch him.

But you can definitely tell he is confused. He is clinging to Freeland like I have never seen before. Yesterday a miracle occurred and we all got up & ready & made it out the door to church.. and on time! And then Freeland took River to the nursery.. and for the first time EVER he screamed when we dropped him off and never stopped screaming. And we had to leave. It was sad to see him so sad. We're going to go try the Y today and see how he does when I drop him off and not Freeland.

Anyway, I know its all normal. And soon enough their relationship is going to grow and Wylder especially is going to admire his big brother.

I thought I would share what the majority of pictures we have from the hospital look like .. us trying to get River to give Wylder a kiss!

He'll thank me for posting these when he is 20 years old.


meeting his brother for the first time


thinking about giving him a kiss

annnnd changing his mind:



this is the face he makes almost every time! Hilarious! no idea where this comes from!




almost!










at this point Im pretty sure he thinks its a game!

and done and back to his food:



and then finally we got him to not only love on his brother but we also got a picture of it!









success!

I'll let you know how it goes at the Y today! Praying he is okay with me dropping him off!