Wednesday, March 11, 2009

diet shmiet

this is what I ate for lunch today. Because I know you all care.

I started with a shake. Because thats what you do when you eat healthy I guess.

But that didnt really satisfy my hunger.

So I topped it off with cheetos, a cookie, 2 slices of pizza, string cheese, and a powdered donut. In that order.

holy cow.

Its been an emotional day so its okay.

Not to worry family - it hasnt really been an emotional day - I just said that so I would feel better about myself.

Random Fact: I eat my pizza in a very specific and scientific way. (meaning I dont just bite into it.. because if you just take bites it goes by too fast and Im all about savoring every little bit(bit not bite) I can) SOO here is how to eat pizza like a champ, me:

  1. if you're smart you start with papa johns supreme pizza. It used to be the Hawaiian but we've moved up in the world and now get supreme.
  2. get out a fork. you have to eat it with a fork. Otherwise people will call you a "picker." Its happened to me many times.
  3. pick off some of the best toppings from Freeland's slices first and eat those before he notices. The best toppings are the sausage in case you are wondering.
  4. then move to your piece. Start with the sausage. duh! Then the peperoni and/or ham depending on your preference that day. pick those off first & eat them.
  5. then move onto the veggies. Dont want to forget those - they are the healthy part. you dont get dessert unless you eat your veggies. I personally love the green peppers. which is new for me.
  6. now you should just have a plain slice of cheese pizza. Soo obviously, eat the cheese. But just the cheese.
  7. yummy. okay so now you should just have pizza dough. And if its papa johns - you're in for a treat.
  8. Using your fork, because you are classy, scrape off the dough. "scrape the dough off of what" you are probably asking yourself. Well - from itself?! Scrape off just the fluffy dough so you still have the bottom of the pizza. The crusty part that makes the triangle. Are you following me? I know this is very scientific and Im using big words. I can try to draw a diagram next time. But eat that part.
  9. so now you just have the bottom of the pizza (with out the "fluffy yummy heavenly" doughy part) and the crust. Eat the bottom of the pizza.
  10. oh boy. now you just have the crust. And like I said before, if you ordered papa johns you are really in for a treat. Get out the dipping sauce. The buttery garlic piece of heaven that you saved just for the crust. We do this because it would be a little overboard to dip your entire pizza in the sauce. You can put your fork away now. Its no longer needed. All you have to do now is - dip and enjoy.

And that is how I eat my pizza. Seriously I typed all of that out for yall.

Other side note: in Erie, PA if you order "Canadian bacon & pineapple" from papa johns they give you BACON and pineapple. Who orders Bacon & pineapple? Why didnt they stop me if they thought thats what I was ordering! You have to say ham for them to understand. Lesson Learned.

and now back to the diet shmiet

6 comments:

  1. hahaha i just giggled out loud and read that to my office mate. she giggled out loud too. some might think you are pregnant!!! haha did you read my post about what all i ate one day b/c i am hungry all the time?! oh you must. Here is the link: http://quirkiebird.blogspot.com/2009/02/carrying-trunk-up-this-mountain.html
    all that talk about pizza made me want some!! ;) i lOVE that butter garlic sauce. i could bathe in it.

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  2. Oh, that's making me crave some pappa John's....although you are eating it all wrong!!

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  3. haha! Yes Jenna.. I read that post and it is VERY funny.

    Just because I feel I should I want to go on the record saying I am not pregnant.

    phew. that felt better.

    although I admit I eat like I am sometimes. :)

    And Camille - thats funny. I should have asked how everyone eats it!

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  4. Ummm Brooke...that had to be the strangest but funniest post I've ever read.

    Who taught you to eat pizza like that? Do people look at you weird? I know you couldn't eat it like that in Reading...the locals would be like "who's the freak?"

    TOTALLY KIDDING! ;)

    mmmmm....now I want some Papa John's...YUM!

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  5. i want pizza now! i mean the baby needs pizza.

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  6. You are too funny! That takes a lot of patience. I just dive right in, I love green bell peppers too. I always order a cheese pizza with green bell peppers, sad thing is I had them mistake bell peppers for jalapenos-yuck!

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