Tuesday, April 8, 2008

sometimes I dont like to think of a title for my post so Im not going to right now ..

{preface} This post isnt meant to be a downer.. Trust me - I dont want to be debbie downer on my blog! But I feel like I learned something tonight. I dont really have the words to explain it and I also wont get into the details of what happened because it is really dumb and some things just shouldn't be shared on the world wide web! :)

It is incredibly strange & beautiful at the same time that you can love/care for someone so much that their pain becomes even more important than your own. I mean its like it really deeply affects you in a way that you didnt know was possible.. Tonight for the first time in a long time someone really hurt my husband by what they said. The worst part was they were saying what they said to hurt him. When I read what was said I felt sick inside {and of course started balling crying for him - cause its what I do best!} but it was a very surreal moment where I felt like for just a little itty bitty second I had a glimpse into what Christ feels for us.

I dont mean to over spiritualize things - but its something Ive always "known" and never really understood.. not that I truly understand now - but for a moment I started to get it.. while I sat and wept for my husband .. i began to get how Christ is just as deeply affected {actually way more affected} when we are hurt. He hurts with us. When we feel upset or pain - he feels those things with us also.

Its truly comforting to know that God cares that much for each of us that he weeps with us when we weep and the same he rejoices with us when we rejoice! {by the way I think He is way cooler than we sometimes give him credit for - I bet when he rejoices with us he does it way better than we do or could ever imagine.. he probably throws a great party and pulls out all the stops.. while we just go eat a nice dinner or blog about it!} So Im glad he rejoices with us!

Im really thankful marriage is slowly teaching me what it feels like to unconditionally love someone. I love feeling & caring that strongly for someone and even more.. I love that God feels that strongly about us. {have yall read The Shack? If not - stop what you are doing and go get it now.. more about that later}

Oh & all of this also made me realize that in no way am I ready to be a mom yet! If it were my kid this happened to .. I dont think I could have handled it the way I did .. I think I would have marched onto that playground and pushed the bully back myself!


  1. Yah, don't overanalyze it....TRUST ME, sometimes bullies need to bepopped right in the kisser!!

  2. My husband ALWAYS says to be the bigger person and take the high road............I agree to a point but like I said......sometimes a bully just needs socked in the gut.

  3. Good post & so true, lady.

    P.S. You'll be a great mom.

  4. It is really something how we can take abuse, but when it is directed to our spouse or our children, we are fighting mad. I have been so angry at some real Negative Nellies before that I could have spit. The best lesson I ever learned in life was they were not worth my anger and the only person hurt by my anger was me. I now do not spend anytime thinking about these downers, but reflect on "The Truth".

  5. it's really sweet to see (read)about what you are learning about marriage and life. i'm sorry that someone was a meanie to freeland.
    ok so if you weren't moving, we should start hanging out all the time. because so often you blog about something and i'm like YES i've thought that too! :) for example, I think The Shack is amazing! i laughed, cried and really thought about how i've pictured God.
    much love to you and free!

  6. GIRL!!! I know JUST how you feel! I get so upset when people are mean to my man!!! Sometimes, Matt decides not to tell me stuff because he knows I can't let go! :) HA!

  7. yall are sweet! Thanks for all the comments and for reassuring me that Im not crazy!!